Random Jokes Thread...

[dbav]

...because why not.

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
- Follow the fresh prints!

What's the crunkest place to go to the bathroom?
- The lil John!

 

[skysdad]

Someone stole all toilets down at the police station. The police said they have nothing to go on. OFC

 

[RHFD]

Unfortunately, my obese parrot just died
It's a huge weight off my shoulders.

 

[skysdad]

I have a friend who really loves to count.

I wonder what he's up to? OFC

 

[dbav]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: Why the long face?

 

[GhostOf301]

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. Bartender says, what is this, a bad joke?

 

[GAAP]

Drew Brees expresses his opinion. A bunch of douche bags disagree with his opinion and try to shame him for having an opinion that does not concur with theirs.

 

[dbav]

A mushroom walks into a bar and asks the prettiest woman there if she'd like to go out with him. She asks why she should go out with a mushroom. His response: "because I'm a fungi".

 

[meisperplexed]

A mushroom walks into a bar and asks the prettiest woman there if she'd like to go out with him. She asks why she should go out with a mushroom. His response: "because I'm a fungi".

That's terrible dbav! Thanks for the laugh.

 

[RHFD]

I think I've been washing my hands too much.
This morning I found the answers to an 8th Grade math test on my palm.

 

[skysdad]

What did 50 cent do when he got hungry?


58 OFC

 

[skysdad]

What is the cheapest concert?

50 cent with Nickelback. It only cost 45 cents. OFC

 

[DiehardDukeFan4Life]

Here’s 2 different blonde jokes.

“A blonde is driving down the road when she sees a blonde sitting in a row boat in the middle of a field so she stops and rolls her window down then yells “it’s blondes like you that give us a bad name and if I could swim I’d swim out there abs kick your butt”


“A blonde is driving down the road and gets pulled over and a female blonde cop walks up to her car and asks for her driver’s license.

The blonde asks the female blonde cop what it would look like and the female blonde cop tells her that it will be square and have her picture on it.

She pulls a square mirror out of her purse and looks at it then hands it to the female blonde cop and asks her if that’s it and the blonde female blonde cop looks at it and says yes that’s it but I didn’t realize that you were a cop.”

 

[hart2chesson]

Here’s 2 different blonde jokes.

“A blonde is driving down the road when she sees a blonde sitting in a row boat in the middle of a field so she stops and rolls her window down then yells “it’s blondes like you that give us a bad name and if I could swim I’d swim out there abs kick your butt”


“A blonde is driving down the road and gets pulled over and a female blonde cop walks up to her car and asks for her driver’s license.

The blonde asks the female blonde cop what it would look like and the female blonde cop tells her that it will be square and have her picture on it.

She pulls a square mirror out of her purse and looks at it then hands it to the female blonde cop and asks her if that’s it and the blonde female blonde cop looks at it and says yes that’s it but I didn’t realize that you were a cop.”

Lmao, Die their both great!! OFC

 

[GhostOf301]

How do you circumcise a man from Kentucky?

Spoiler

kick his sister in the back of the head.

 

[DiehardDukeFan4Life]

Lmao, Die their both great!! OFC

I’ve got lots of them. I’ll post some more later. lol

 

[skysdad]

I'm addicted to cheddar cheese.

It's a mild addiction though. OFC

 

[DiehardDukeFan4Life]

How do you drown a blonde?











Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool

 

[DiehardDukeFan4Life]

Here’s one that I’ve seen on Facebook a few times over the last couple of days.

What concert costs 45 cents?

 

[skysdad]

Here’s one that I’ve seen on Facebook a few times over the last couple of days.

What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent with Nickel Back. OFC

 

[BlueDevilStop]

Thanks for the entertainment, had to chuckle at some of these

 

[skysdad]

What did the farmer tell his cows at night.

It's pasture bedtime. OFC

 

[skysdad]

My friend Jack claims he communicates with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk. OFC

 

[dbav]

My uncle was a ventriloquist dummy. He died drinking furniture polish. It was a slow death, but a great finish.

 

[skysdad]

Just found out we have quartz counter tops in our kitchen. I've been taking them for granite for years. OFC

 

[RHFD]

A little boy & his Mom were at their favorite beach one day. The boy and his mom were quiet while enjoying the breeze and looking around at the various sights.

Boy: "Mom, what is an alcoholic?"

Mom: "See those two boats out there on the water? An alcoholic would see four."

Boy: "But there is only one boat Mom."

Mom: "Crap"