Random Jokes Thread...

Discussion in 'Duke Hoops Open Forum - Free' started by dbav, Jun 10, 2020.

  1. dbav

    dbav Devils Illustrated Hall of Famer
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    ...because why not.

    How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
    - Follow the fresh prints!

    What's the crunkest place to go to the bathroom?
    - The lil John!
     
  2. skysdad

    skysdad Devils Illustrated Hall of Famer
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    Someone stole all toilets down at the police station. The police said they have nothing to go on. OFC
     
  3. RHFD

    RHFD All American
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    Unfortunately, my obese parrot just died
    It's a huge weight off my shoulders.
     
  4. skysdad

    skysdad Devils Illustrated Hall of Famer
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    I have a friend who really loves to count.

    I wonder what he's up to? OFC
     
  5. dbav

    dbav Devils Illustrated Hall of Famer
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    A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: Why the long face?
     
  6. GhostOf301

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    A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. Bartender says, what is this, a bad joke?
     
  7. GAAP

    GAAP Cameron Crazy
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    Drew Brees expresses his opinion. A bunch of douche bags disagree with his opinion and try to shame him for having an opinion that does not concur with theirs.
     
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  8. dbav

    dbav Devils Illustrated Hall of Famer
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    A mushroom walks into a bar and asks the prettiest woman there if she'd like to go out with him. She asks why she should go out with a mushroom. His response: "because I'm a fungi".
     
    8 dbav, Jun 11, 2020
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020
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  9. meisperplexed

    meisperplexed All Conference
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    That's terrible dbav! Thanks for the laugh. :)
     
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  10. RHFD

    RHFD All American
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    I think I've been washing my hands too much.
    This morning I found the answers to an 8th Grade math test on my palm.
     
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  11. skysdad

    skysdad Devils Illustrated Hall of Famer
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    What did 50 cent do when he got hungry?


    58 OFC
     
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  12. skysdad

    skysdad Devils Illustrated Hall of Famer
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    What is the cheapest concert?

    50 cent with Nickelback. It only cost 45 cents. OFC
     
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  13. DiehardDukeFan4Life

    DiehardDukeFan4Life Devils Illustrated Hall of Famer
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    Here’s 2 different blonde jokes.

    “A blonde is driving down the road when she sees a blonde sitting in a row boat in the middle of a field so she stops and rolls her window down then yells “it’s blondes like you that give us a bad name and if I could swim I’d swim out there abs kick your butt”


    “A blonde is driving down the road and gets pulled over and a female blonde cop walks up to her car and asks for her driver’s license.

    The blonde asks the female blonde cop what it would look like and the female blonde cop tells her that it will be square and have her picture on it.

    She pulls a square mirror out of her purse and looks at it then hands it to the female blonde cop and asks her if that’s it and the blonde female blonde cop looks at it and says yes that’s it but I didn’t realize that you were a cop.”
     
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  14. hart2chesson

    hart2chesson Devils Illustrated Hall of Famer
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    Lmao, Die their both great!!:) OFC
     
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  15. GhostOf301

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    How do you circumcise a man from Kentucky?














    kick his sister in the back of the head.
     
  16. DiehardDukeFan4Life

    DiehardDukeFan4Life Devils Illustrated Hall of Famer
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    I’ve got lots of them. I’ll post some more later. lol
     
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  17. skysdad

    skysdad Devils Illustrated Hall of Famer
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    I'm addicted to cheddar cheese.

    It's a mild addiction though. OFC
     
  18. DiehardDukeFan4Life

    DiehardDukeFan4Life Devils Illustrated Hall of Famer
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    How do you drown a blonde?











    Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool
     
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  19. DiehardDukeFan4Life

    DiehardDukeFan4Life Devils Illustrated Hall of Famer
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    Here’s one that I’ve seen on Facebook a few times over the last couple of days.

    What concert costs 45 cents?
     
  20. skysdad

    skysdad Devils Illustrated Hall of Famer
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    50 cent with Nickel Back. OFC
     
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  21. BlueDevilStop

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    Thanks for the entertainment, had to chuckle at some of these
     
  22. skysdad

    skysdad Devils Illustrated Hall of Famer
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    What did the farmer tell his cows at night.

    It's pasture bedtime. OFC
     
  23. skysdad

    skysdad Devils Illustrated Hall of Famer
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    My friend Jack claims he communicates with vegetables.
    Jack and the beans talk. OFC
     
  24. dbav

    dbav Devils Illustrated Hall of Famer
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    My uncle was a ventriloquist dummy. He died drinking furniture polish. It was a slow death, but a great finish.
     
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  25. skysdad

    skysdad Devils Illustrated Hall of Famer
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    Just found out we have quartz counter tops in our kitchen. I've been taking them for granite for years. OFC
     
  26. RHFD

    RHFD All American
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    A little boy & his Mom were at their favorite beach one day. The boy and his mom were quiet while enjoying the breeze and looking around at the various sights.

    Boy: "Mom, what is an alcoholic?"

    Mom: "See those two boats out there on the water? An alcoholic would see four."

    Boy: "But there is only one boat Mom."

    Mom: "Crap"
     
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