OT: Chuck Norris Thread

[skysdad]

Chuck Norris is the only man alive that Ronda Rousey will not fight. OFC

 

[hpnole]

She can't be serious about wanting to fight Mayweather, can she??

 

[pisgah101]

She can't be serious about wanting to fight Mayweather, can she??

She'd beat the crap outta that chicken

 

[hpnole]

She'd beat the crap outta that chicken

only if Mayweather agrees to tie one hand to one of his feet...She has as much chance against any good male boxer of winning as D. Patrick does of winning a race. I do assume that you are kidding.

 

[FearTheBeard]

She'd beat the crap outta that chicken

In a reading contest.

 

[FearTheBeard]

....and, the boogey man checks under his bed at night for Chuck Norris.

 

[CRAZIE4LIFE]

Chuck Norris once turned down Wanda's nanner puddin

 

[FearTheBeard]

Keeping with Crazie's theme:

Chuck Norris can play basketball for UNC AND attend class.

 

[skysdad]

Chuck Norris makes better "nanner puddin" than Wanda. OFC

 

[pisgah101]

In UFC she would beat him yes boxing no

 

[hpnole]

Keeping with Crazie's theme:

Chuck Norris can play basketball for UNC AND attend class.

He can only attend class if he REALLY wants to.

 

[skysdad]

Chuck Norris bit a rattle snake and it died. OFC

 

[Showenuff]

Yesterday, Chucks daughter lost her virginity, today, he took it back.

 

[topps coach]

Even Chuck doesn't have enuff nerve to turn down Wanda manner pudding

 

[smashmouth5]

On the seventh day Chuck Norris told God he could take a break.

 

[skysdad]

UNC wanted to put up a Chuck Norris banner in the Dean Dome because the assumed like every one else he was a Tar Heel fan. He turned it down because he didn't know anything about UNC, the Dean Dome or Wanda's "nanner puddin". OFC

 

[CRAZIE4LIFE]

Coach K taught Chuck Norris how to be a man

 

[skysdad]

Chuck Norris climbed Mt. Everest only wearing gym shorts while carrying snow skies on his back. When he got to the top he skied down without the use of poles . OFC

 

[gottagonow]

Did you guys know that Chuck Norris was a heavily recruited 5 star point guard who Roy visited 17 times and made multiple offers trying to get him to the hill. Steat said Norris was a true UNC lock so Coach K didn't even recruit him. Keryosey accused Lance Thomas of receiving improper benefits again for the 2400th time because of a jewelry scandal, Chapelheeled said that (iho) Norris would average a triple double but (iho only), Dsouthr wrote several books about Chuck and Smooth as Butter said Norris would be much improved in his freshman year and asked everyone he met if they thought Norris would be the NCAA Freshman and NPOTY. Did you also know that Norris learned martial arts and went into acting instead of playing basketball and Gary 7 accused the refs of cheating to keep him out of Chapel Hill. Did you guys know that?

 

[OldasdirtDevil]

Great thread, Sky!

It's a well known fact that Chuck Norris has never broken a promise.

OFC

 

[skysdad]

Did you guys know that Chuck Norris was a heavily recruited 5 star point guard who Roy visited 17 times and made multiple offers trying to get him to the hill. Steat said Norris was a true UNC lock so Coach K didn't even recruit him. Keryosey accused Lance Thomas of receiving improper benefits again for the 2400th time because of a jewelry scandal, Chapelheeled said that (iho) Norris would average a triple double but (iho only), Dsouthr wrote several books about Chuck and Smooth as Butter said Norris would be much improved in his freshman year and asked everyone he met if they thought Norris would be the NCAA Freshman and NPOTY. Did you also know that Norris learned martial arts and went into acting instead of playing basketball and Gary 7 accused the refs of cheating to keep him out of Chapel Hill. Did you guys know that?

LOL Nice job gotta. OFC

 

[skysdad]

Chuck Norris has a Sasquatch as a pet. Feeds him old, spoiled "nanner puddin." Named him Tar Foot. OFC

 

[dbav]

Chuck Norris can read.

Chuck Norris never gets tar on his heels.

If Chuck Norris fought a hurricane named Chuck Norris, who would win?

 

[skysdad]

Chuck Norris can read.

Chuck Norris never gets tar on his heels.

If Chuck Norris fought a hurricane named Chuck Norris, who would win?

Chuck Norris of course. OFC

 

[CRAZIE4LIFE]

Chuck Norris beat Luke Maye in a game of one on one.

 

[skysdad]

Converse renamed the Chuck Taylor's to Chuck Norris' OFC

 

[skysdad]

Chuck Norris told frank Jackson to go to Duke. OFC

 

[LetsGoDuke301]

In a reading contest.

Oooooooooooooooh!

 

[HuffyJB]

Chuck Norris beat Luke Maye in a game of one on one.

Nonsense.

 

[LetsGoDuke301]

Jesus may have walked on water, but Chuck Norris swam through dry land.

 

[Voldukie]

Chuck Norris beat Kennedy Meeks in a hot dog eating contest.

 

[Showenuff]

Once Alexander Grahm Bell invented the telephone, he realized he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

 

[skysdad]

I was watching Walker, Texas Ranger tonight and I saw Cordell Walker aka chuck Norris wipe one tear out of one eye. But that was it. One tear. One eye. A real little tear at that. OFC

 

[LetsGoDuke301]

One night Chuck Norris's wife refused to make him a sandwich. So he roundhouse kicked her into last week. Then he roundhouse kicked himself into last week so he could get roundhouse kick her back to this week to make his sandwich.

 

[LetsGoDuke301]

Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, he pushes the ground down.

 

[skysdad]

Chuck Norris told his chef he wanted two eggs. One scrambled and one fried. The chef came back with the eggs reversed. He fried one and scrambled the other. Chuck Norris made him do it over. Took him 6 dozen eggs before he got it right. OFC

 

[LetsGoDuke301]

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the crap out of it.

 

[LetsGoDuke301]

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart doesn't have the balls to attack him.

 

[gottagonow]

Chuck Norris called 911 to order Chinese Food and the operator had it delivered
(plagiarized from the internet)

 

[DukeSky85]

Chuck Norris farted and did this to Tyler Zeller