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Why it's so hard...

Aug 26, 2006
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I rarely post even though I've been lurking since 2006. As a 38 year old adult ( I stress "adult"--since I was damn near tears even hours after the game) with a loving girlfriend, nice job, adorable puppy, and an overall good life, I kept asking myself why these losses are so hard to deal with -- "it's just a (bleeping) game!" is what I hear all the time. Well, it's so hard, because I never forget these losses...

I remember making my family stop in Paducah, Kentucky (traveling back from visiting family in Wilmington, NC and heading home to St. Louis) in 1994 to watch the finals in motel. I remember Thurman hitting that rainbow 3 and not really talking the rest of the way home.

I remember when we blew a 17 point lead in '98 and Wojo nearly having his back broken by Wayne Turner I believe. I remember a quote from Battier that they'd be back the next year in St. Petersburg to win the whole thing.

I remember '99 and Coach K and my boy from my avatar embracing after one of the most miserable losses ever.

I remember '02 and the 4 point play that wasn't. The missed follow up by Boozer (maybe a foul?) and Christensen losing his damn mind on the bench.

I remember '04 and JJ getting absolutely hacked after we blew that late lead.

I remember '06 and JJ missing an open 3 that he hits 9/10 times to really open up the game against LSU only to once again taste sweet 16 bitterness.

I remember Maynor's dagger in '07, West Virginia mocking Duke after winning in '08, get blown off the court in '09, Lehigh, Mercer, etc.....and for every single one of these moments, I remember where I was...the surroundings...what that day/night was like...and I realize that this one will join all these other painful moments. 2013? Nah, that elite 8 run was great and Louisville was the best team. Last year? Not so much because Kansas was sooo much better than this Spartan team and 'Nova was head and shoulders above everyone. But damn, this year felt like it was gonna be special.

Yeah I'm doing better than Sunday, but as I explained to my girlfriend that night, "I'll be better tomorrow, but what makes me sad is that I know I'll never forget how I feel today..."

Thanks to most of you for making this a great place to celebrate and commiserate.
 
I rarely post even though I've been lurking since 2006. As a 38 year old adult ( I stress "adult"--since I was damn near tears even hours after the game) with a loving girlfriend, nice job, adorable puppy, and an overall good life, I kept asking myself why these losses are so hard to deal with -- "it's just a (bleeping) game!" is what I hear all the time. Well, it's so hard, because I never forget these losses...

I remember making my family stop in Paducah, Kentucky (traveling back from visiting family in Wilmington, NC and heading home to St. Louis) in 1994 to watch the finals in motel. I remember Thurman hitting that rainbow 3 and not really talking the rest of the way home.

I remember when we blew a 17 point lead in '98 and Wojo nearly having his back broken by Wayne Turner I believe. I remember a quote from Battier that they'd be back the next year in St. Petersburg to win the whole thing.

I remember '99 and Coach K and my boy from my avatar embracing after one of the most miserable losses ever.

I remember '02 and the 4 point play that wasn't. The missed follow up by Boozer (maybe a foul?) and Christensen losing his damn mind on the bench.

I remember '04 and JJ getting absolutely hacked after we blew that late lead.

I remember '06 and JJ missing an open 3 that he hits 9/10 times to really open up the game against LSU only to once again taste sweet 16 bitterness.

I remember Maynor's dagger in '07, West Virginia mocking Duke after winning in '08, get blown off the court in '09, Lehigh, Mercer, etc.....and for every single one of these moments, I remember where I was...the surroundings...what that day/night was like...and I realize that this one will join all these other painful moments. 2013? Nah, that elite 8 run was great and Louisville was the best team. Last year? Not so much because Kansas was sooo much better than this Spartan team and 'Nova was head and shoulders above everyone. But damn, this year felt like it was gonna be special.

Yeah I'm doing better than Sunday, but as I explained to my girlfriend that night, "I'll be better tomorrow, but what makes me sad is that I know I'll never forget how I feel today..."

Thanks to most of you for making this a great place to celebrate and commiserate.

I’m still not over ‘99. This one sucked and it will still suck next year, even if we win it all. I have tried to separate myself from it and not go into each year with such high expectations, but this year, I couldn’t help myself. Thing is though, when the losses stop bothering you, the wins won’t feel as good either
 
I am definitely a firm believer that those loses feel deeper than the wins. We tend to focus on the one that got away and "what could have been".

I find it interesting the couple loses you left out - 2000 versus Florida and 2003 versus Kansas.

Glad you focused on 1998. That seems to be an underrated defeat. It was a very fun team and an interesting mixture of upperclassmen whom rebuilt the program and youngsters aiming to finish the job. Anyhow there was a valuable lesson learned that day - don't fall asleep in a Tourney game. Our massive lead seemed to go up in smoke within minutes. We were literally blowing out the eventual champion in the 2nd Half.

Those lessons keep us on our toes as fans. No matter the sport or competition I tend to be reserved when watching elimination competition because I distinctly remember when X, Y, and Z occurred. Sometimes the wins do feel almost like relief especially with Duke basketball because we are overwhelmingly favored.

But anyway each of those loses taught me a lesson with the sport, this program and the players + Coach K. There won't be another Zion but I am confident Coach will add one more NCAA Title before he leaves us.
 
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I’m still not over ‘99. This one sucked and it will still suck next year, even if we win it all. I have tried to separate myself from it and not go into each year with such high expectations, but this year, I couldn’t help myself. Thing is though, when the losses stop bothering you, the wins won’t feel as good either
Twenty years later, UConn's upset of Duke still reverberates

http://www.espn.com/mens-college-ba...nty-years-later-uconn-upset-duke-reverberates
 
Yeah I'm doing better than Sunday, but as I explained to my girlfriend that night, "I'll be better tomorrow, but what makes me sad is that I know I'll never forget how I feel today..."
[/QUOTE]

Same here my friend...This is one we will purge from system, but what makes it double tough is I really think we take it all.Nonetheless, I still feel this team was not quite as good offensively as we thought. Outside shooting and fts killed us, and it really caught up w/us..

OFC
 
Original post is spot on, we simply love Duke Basketball so losses tear us up and cannot explain why. The hurt is what makes the wins so enjoyable. Summer of 2015 I walked on air after winning the title. Last 3 years were rough endings and my kids feel the pain of harsh losses. Hope in next few years I get to celebrate a title with my family.

Hosting Final Four viewing party tomorrow. My brother & I will analyze the season while reaching into the coller way too many times. We love the game of basketball too much to let Final Four Saturday just pass by.
 
I’m still not over ‘99. This one sucked and it will still suck next year, even if we win it all. I have tried to separate myself from it and not go into each year with such high expectations, but this year, I couldn’t help myself. Thing is though, when the losses stop bothering you, the wins won’t feel as good either

Day after Uconn loss my boss sent me home in car service b/c thought I was going to jump off 59th Street Bridge. Not joking!
 
I just don't let sporting events that I have zero control over bother me anymore...am I upset when we lose? If course all fans are but later that night im already over it....like I said I have ZERO control over it so why worry about it or let it effect my life
 
Before the tourney started, my brother-in-law asked me where this season would rank in disappointment if we didn't win it all. I said then, probably 3rd depending on the circumstances. 99 will always be number 1 for me. That team would've been considered among the best ever had they just won one more game. 06 is number 2 just for the fact that it was JJ's last ride.

02 is up there but it's not as bad because at least those guys brought it home the year before.
 
They all suck for different reasons. I think most can agree 99 takes the cake though.
I was more angry with last year's Kansas loss than I was this year. Grayson's shot combined with the Wendell "block that was definitely a charge call" was the worst. I truly felt we got hosed.
This year, I don't think there was a problem with the officiating, we just got outcoached, plain and simple.
 
This has been a difficult week. Very difficult. I stay away from sports on tv. I don’t want to hear anyone say a bad thing about Duke. I always avoid college basketball talk until the national championship end and I know no one else is playing. It’s moreso that I just miss seeing the team play and know I won’t ever be able to watch that exact team play again. 5 months of watching a team and then it ends prematurely. That’s what hurts
 
I can't really explain why, but some losses make me angry - and some just make me plain sad. Here's how I would rank them

Angry Losses:
1. Indiana, 2002 (probably didn't help that someone called me right after to let me know Duke lost. Needless to say, I hung up on them... went outside and cursed for a solid 10 minutes. Which is something, because I almost never swear).
2. Michigan State, 2019
3. UConn, 2004

Sad Losses:
1. UConn, 1999
2. Kentucky, 1998
3. Lehigh/Mercer, 2012/2014
 
This season wasn't as bad as some in the past. My opinion is they played hard, and wore the uniform with pride. I haven't had that feeling with our past few teams. It was also apparent we only had 2 scorers. One was the best player in the country, a literal man-child. After him, so many flaws. Sometimes we just have to accept that we aren't the best. We wanted Cam, Tre and a few others to be more consistent on offense. That's just a hard reality that some don't want to admit.

Not trying to sound like a downer, but I'm not sure K will win another title coaching teams dominated by one and done's. We lack balance. He's allowing for his one year stars to come in and shine. Not saying that's bad, but we can't solely rely on them. We play too many guys that are a liability on one side of the ball or the other.

We will probably win 25 or more games a season, which is good, but our competition improves, and we appear to flatten out.
 
I’m still not over the 78 team losing to Kentucky so I will get to this one in a few more years.
 
It sucks. I shared the story that most of the bar started clapping and laughing after the MSU loss. But I get far more mad about the first/second round losses. Now we're a disappointment; but lose to UCF and we are a joke to all non-Duke fans. Elite 8 is tough but I can live with that. And 99 is my worst loss, although Mercer was bad as I had a friend who's a KU fan and reminded me of it every day that year. Thankfully we won it all in 2015.
 
I’m still not over ‘99. This one sucked and it will still suck next year, even if we win it all. I have tried to separate myself from it and not go into each year with such high expectations, but this year, I couldn’t help myself. Thing is though, when the losses stop bothering you, the wins won’t feel as good either
Excellent post! Sums up my thoughts as well.
 
I just don't let sporting events that I have zero control over bother me anymore...am I upset when we lose? If course all fans are but later that night im already over it....like I said I have ZERO control over it so why worry about it or let it effect my life

I got there for awhile, but the talent last year and this year pulled me back in!! I’m trying to work my way back there again
 
I got there for awhile, but the talent last year and this year pulled me back in!! I’m trying to work my way back there again

I understand...but I was over the kids Sunday by 8:00 to be honest and game was over around 7:30.

Just no need in killing yourself and stressing over something you have zero control over....more important things in this world at least to me than a duke basketball game
 
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I just don't let sporting events that I have zero control over bother me anymore...am I upset when we lose? If course all fans are but later that night im already over it....like I said I have ZERO control over it so why worry about it or let it effect my life
Your constant complaining and bashing of players really seems to prove otherwise.
 
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Your constant complaining and bashing of players really seems to prove otherwise.

Players? Really?

Said cam was overhyped...that's bashing him? Ok gotcha...sorry I spit the truth and don't kiss the backside of everyone
 
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